Some people might call me racist simply for a few off color comments i do tend to make. Currently I’m searching Google to see if there is a word for what I really am… but in plain text, i point out stereotypes when people display them. I don’t hate the group that displays the stereotype i hate the stereotype itself. For example lately I’ve walked to plenty of public places, most of which where people are quietly talking among themselves. However shortly after getting there someone will walk in and yell flat out across the room. It’s been my experience and stereotype that a majority of the time it will be black person shouting. That’s an observation that may be of my own but i meant it purely as an example. Do whites/Latinos/etc. do this as well, yes. Have i experienced it as often as i have with the other group, no; Do i still think its dumb when anyone does it, YES.

Now i bring this example up because its very clear that everyone has stereotypes in their heads about someone or some group. Currently I’m taking a psychology class on the subject and its given me a bit of insight already into the topic. So I’ve decided to go ahead and tackle this subject today, but not from a complete stand point of psychology, however i will borrow this one thing from class; Stereotypes can be good, sometimes they keep us out of trouble and away from the right people, but they’re not always just and fair.

What i want to know, is why do we always search for the dividing features in a person? Why does color, or body language honestly make some people hate for no reason. What’s that barrier and why can’t we turn it into something that binds us and not divide us.

Why don’t we start looking at people and instead of saying “Oh he’s just another loud black person” point out something good about him, or alike with yourself if its possible. At least see the person behind the stereotype and try to move past the stereotype itself. So I’ll think about this myself the next time i decide to point out a stereotype and I’d like everyone else to do the same. Find the person, the heart, the soul… anything… before you just assume someone to be pure stereotype. Heck it might even turn out that that stereotyped person saves your life one day.

We first talked on facebook i believe

Somehow i got your number

We first ever actually hung out at Dave and Busters

The first night we were alone together was because i was mad

The first place we stopped together was my house

The first store we ever visited together was Meijer

The first park we went to was Crane’s Run

That was also the first time i kissed you

I also learned you were ticklish then

We sat there for hours

We spent a lot of time trying to figure out if there was something in the water

I fought with a duck over you =)

“we’re both so awkward and that makes this a little better”

I don’t know what else to say…

Its not really that I’m sad about all this, but it makes me wonder if i would be different if i had more value in my family relationships. Its not my fault most of them never come around or that they call on my birthday and don’t even say nothing other then i need to borrow money.

In fact it wasn’t long ago that my mother had a fallout with most of her family, which has made all of us distant with them. My father’s family I’ve hardly even know, and even my grandparents were taken from me before i old enough to really remember them.

That’s life however, and from what i can remember and gather of most of my family its better this way. Not that they’re not good people or what have you, but that they usually don’t all get along. Actually i recall a family reunion that was held and not even mentioned to a lot of my mothers family.

Even some of my friends have strong relationships with their parents. That’s something i like to think i have but its not like i spend any real time with them doing anything. Not that I’m unhappy about all of this, but i just wonder if it would make me less of a worried and wanting person.

In other news I’ve finally talked to Bob today. One thing off of my mind of a long list of things. For now I’ll drive to school and get a year round parking pass… but if things continue this way I will be moving into an apartment by myself. I’ve a lot of mixed feelings about this whole deal. I don’t like being alone and i know that’ll make me feel a little more needy in my life… but on the other hand I would enjoy the freedom it would grant. Well either way I’ll wait on Bob for as long as i feel i can make it… I’d rather live with someone and save money. lol.

Other then living conditions the only things on my mind is this girl, and my school. I really don’t like my classes and my major of Psychology, and I’m not good enough at math to really do well in physics… which means I’m going to have to find something else, or become amazing over night… neither of which I think I’m too good at.  The girl I’m not even sure about… we started out being friends who just had fun… and later it turned out we sort of had feelings for each other. Things got too serious for her, and i understand that i was part of the reason it happened. I asked her a few days ago how she felt and if she was willing to try again and maybe take things slowly… but she’s not said anything else about it… I just wish she’d answer me. I have hope in the bottom of my heart that we can make this work… but idk if she’s willing to or not… if I should just give up…

:sigh::

These are just my thoughts and i get to be happy with the fact that hardly anyone, IF anyone i know even reads them. I really liked her and its true i would’ve loved to have been more… but i was happy with what we were as well. In my mind i know that I made her happy and some point and that she made me happy also… I think the only reason she wanted to stop was because it did start to get too serious… and i believe if she’d give me another chance and let us just go back to how they were, i could handle this all better.

I’m an uncertain person who likes knowing that he’s like or loved. I like approval and i fear being wrong or screwing up in the eyes of others. I seek to feel better by getting others to tell me something i know I’ll like to hear. I think this cost me her as well, and i took a very long day off to figure this stuff out. Sometimes in the mornings I have a problem filtering my brain or watching what i say and I’m very emotional in the mornings as well. I pushed her away and i know it. I didn’t mean to, i was just having problems that instead of solving… i looked to someone else to just make me feel better and make them go away. I’m sorry… and I really want to try again.

I’m still unaware as to what my living arrangements will be for school. I’m trying to hold out and wait for my friend to figure out if he’s going to get released from his housing plans at WSU or if he’ll be stuck there for a quarter. Depending of course on the outcome I’ll know exactly what I’m doing. If he’s released we’ll be getting an apartment together… if he’s not I’m going to attempt to get myself my own apartment to live in.  I hoping to be able to do all this during the first quarter.

If i can live up there I’ll be able to focus more on schooling and not get distracted and discouraged from driving back and forth to classes and etc. I’ll also be able to live alone which would be somewhat nice. Either way living with my friend or alone it won’t matter to me too much.

Other then that it’s naturally August, which is a completely horrid month in my opinion. I don’t like to celebrate my birthday… and i don’t really like it when my friends get me gifts and wish me happy birthday… idk why, I’ve just never been big on it. I mean it’s nice if people remember, but if you forget or whatever, I’ll never hold it against you. Its also bad because my Dad’s birthday is this month also and its nearly impossible to shop for him. It always makes me feel bad not being able to find something to give him… and on top of that its also my parents anniversary, which is another thing that i never know what to do…

Other then these few things I’ve already talked about I’m not sure what else to write on. Life’s alright. People suck and bring me down sometimes but I’m working on ignoring it and moving forward. I always doubt myself and i fear that might cost me a little more then i want it to in some of my relationships…

Speaking of… well I’m not even sure what to write on that… I’m just rolling with whatever happens and trying to continue to have fun…

Oh well, Devin signing out for now. Keep safe and take care people whom I may or may not know. 

When I was younger and she herself was just a pup, we shared a bed, or rather a crib. Even from a very young age Coco was a very accepting and loving dog. As my mother herself says “no other dog will ever be able to or have the chance to replace Coco.” That’s very true, losing Coco was an extremely hard thing to do and to even consider getting a new dog even in the far future just feels wrong.

Coco was taken very good care of even right up to the end. She was fed “people” food and often enjoyed Hamburger meat and onions. When she feel ill or seemed unwell she was treated just as any family would treat their child… she was well taken care of.

On July 24, 2009 Mom and Dad took Coco to the vet where it was determined that she was suffering from a brain tumor. The doctor insisted that the only thing to do was allow her to pass peacefully, so that’s what they decided to do…

It true dog is man’s best friend and its also true for me to say that Coco knew more of my secrets then anyone else in this world. Oftentimes i would look at her and give her a pat on the head after a bad and jokingly say to her, “ya know dog, you’re the only good gal in my life.”

She will be greatly missed and even though i myself haven’t taken this extremely hard its merely because i keep busy.

This picture isn’t so funny right now to me, but i still think its just a good moment.

First I’ll talk about 7 itself. I’m no expert and I’m not some overly technical computer person. I do a little more then “normal” people would do with their computers and that’s about all. For starters the “Notification Icon’s” in the bottom right of the computer has slightly changed. No longer does it extend sideways to display hidden icons, it displays upward into a nice little box. The internet notification itself no longer has to be double clicked to bring up a new box to connect to the internet, one click and you’re viewing all available wireless networks. Also to note on the task bar itself programs no longer have to display as a picture, then a description. Mine personally is just a small little picture.

These pictures when clicked run their respective programs and allow for maximizing and minimizing. When you place your mouse over its picture and its running, a sample display will pop up and show what the window looks like, akin to the Windows Aero scheme in Vista. Also to note downloads will turn the picture green and fill up with its respective percentage.

The Windows Live Mail functions similar to Outlook Office and etc. You can sync nearly any mail client to it including AOL, Gmail and if you’re premium Yahoo. I’ve not gotten much farther into this or Windows 7 but I’m sure like in Outlook there is a calendar function.

Well this is my first blog with Pictures, and its been quite fun using Windows Writer to post. Hopefully in the future I’ll be able to make this blog a little more interesting.

Being a watcher, a man who hardly interacts with things and simply documents everything that happens, means that fighting doesn’t come easy. It takes alot to make me want to fight. Today I was spit on by a gutless person with no will to punch me like he claims he wanted to. Even after that i still was unwilling to waste the effort to hit that… boy… like he deserved.

So the question at hand, and the new topic for today… patience. Is it a virtue? Or is it a fools Dream?

On one hand, patience can and will save you alot of time when dealing with certain things. Its easier to slip away from something unnoticed, or to find the right moments for things while you simply wait and put up with something. On the other hand, when its time for an ass kicking, it keep you from delivering it.

So consider your thoughts and your willingness to get yourself involved, and if possible beforehand consider if patience is enough to prevent whatever it is that might happen.